Variations of Ecclesiastes

The first version of this poem was recently published in my school's literary and arts journal, The Idiom. After submitting the first version, they suggested some edits, which resulted in the second version. In the end, they chose to publish the first. What do you think? Which one do you prefer?

Ecclesiastes (Version 1)

Meaning
taunts as it blurs
in the eyes
of us farsighted ones
and runs lithely away with the smirk
of a little boy who just pinched
a sensitive sister.

We chase it
with the paralysis that freezes us in dreams
moving nowhere in our flailing, floating
falling chaos
until we are no longer pursuers,
but the pursued.

Time grabs with grimy hands,
roughly etching wrinkles,
sucking color and strength,
curses ours to claim.
Our name is shame
so we must sign a pseudonym.

The sun cycle of chase and die
never gifts us variation,
only a bland groan,
the yawn of a man
waking up to find himself alone;
despite desires gorged and glutted,
every day it means
less.

Ecclesiastes (Version 2)

Meaning

taunts as it obscures

in fun-house mirrors, or

windshield wipers rub the raindrops

into blurry fireworks.

It darts away

with the smirk

of a boy who pinched

a sensitive sister.

We chase it

with the paralysis that freezes us in dreams

blocks our lungs

leaves us legless,

once pursuers, now pursued.

Time grabs with grimy hands,

roughly etching wrinkles,

stripping color and strength,

curses ours to claim.

Our name is shame,

we hide behind our pseudonyms.

This sun cycle of chase and die

never gifts us variation,

but the new mirage convinces some:

after a few years

gorging and glutting desires,

they end

their desert quest

with a bland groan,

lulled into eternity

with a yawn.

But dissolving into dust,

most quietly shriek

if it was meaningless.